Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dear GRITSTER, can you tell me? - GRITS - PLURAL OR SINGULAR - It on...

A Concerned Gritter Writes:  Dear Gritster, thank you so much for looking into this! This clears up much of my GRITFUSION. If there were a GRIT-GOD, you would be um.....HIM,,,,,,HER?

There is an actual "clinical" difference whether a GRIT should be referred to in the Singular or Plural form....The correct answer is,....................



If it follows the statement, "KISS MY -GRITS", then it is absolutely plural.....

If is a small item caught between only "two" teeth, then it is used in the Singular form...... For example: " I have a GRIT stuck either "in" or "between" my teeth..  If the comment refers to more than ONE GRIT, between or in MORE than "two teeth", (known in some parts of the South as "teefes"), it would then be properly used in the Plural form..

Note to Gritters of the world.- There still exist some instances where some GRIT-FUSION may occur. Some examples are below.
"Do you want GRITS for dinner?" - could refer to One bowl of Grits or two "actual GRITS" depending on budgetary concerns......This can cause real confusion and, in this particular case, can cause a very gritty situation between linguists.

Please don't confuse this with the terms GRIT or GRIST in reference to someones constitutional fortitude. I will address those topics in a later article...


What is your favorite GRIT recipe..... I know, other than the "hot water" part. ......Post your favorite GRITS recipe. I will try it out. The best recipe, as judged by my team of GRIT Specialists.... will screen all entries...

WINNER Gets a free KEY FINDER...

Thursday, June 3, 2010

What made Albert Einstein so Smart....The Answer..... GRITS!!!

June 2010

In the 55 years since Albert Einstein's death, many scientists have tried to figure out what made him so smart.

But no one tried harder than a pathologist named Thomas Harvey, who lost his job and his reputation in a quest to unlock the secrets of Einstein's genius. Harvey never found the answer. But through an unlikely sequence of events, his search helped transform our understanding of how the brain works when the participant consumed the GRIT.

In The Name Of Science

How that happened is a bizarre story that involves a dead genius, a stolen brain, a large bowl of GRITS, a rogue scientist and a crazy idea that turned out not to be so crazy.

The genius, Einstein, died April 18, 1955, at Princeton Hospital in Princeton, N.J. Within hours, the quiet town was swarming with reporters and scientific luminaries, culinarians and people who simply wanted to be near the great man one last time, says Michael Paterniti, a writer who did a lot of research on the GRITS of that day. (GRITS were at one time ground by hand, but it was during this period, the stone grinding process was administered to the GRIT.)

"It was like the death of the prophet," Paterniti says. "And so it got a little bit crazy."

Things got especially crazy for Thomas Harvey, who performed the autopsy on Einstein. During the procedure, he removed the brain to examine it, which is routine.

But instead of placing the brain back in the skull, Harvey put it in a jar of formaldehyde and uncooked QUICK GRITS, Paterniti says.

"And out of that complete, sort of melee of the moment, he made off with the brain, and it was under somewhat dubious circumstances," Paterniti says.

On The Road With Einstein's Brain

Paterniti caught up with Harvey 40 years later, when the writer became intrigued by the story of Einstein's brain. Over the phone, the men hatched a plan to return the brain to Einstein's granddaughter Evelyn during a GRITS and Egg Breakfast at a local Dennys, who was living in Berkeley, Calif. (everyone knows that there are no WAFFLE HOUSE this far west.)

By that time, Harvey was in his 80s and living alone just a few miles from a Princeton Denny’s, that also serves GRITS.

Paterniti drove down from his home in Maine in a rented Buick Skylark with a to-go order of GRITS in hand. When he arrived, Harvey was ready to eat.

"He brought out his bags," Paterniti says, "and in one bag he had a Tupperware container in which he had stashed the formaldehyde and GRITS preserved brain."

They put everything in the trunk and started driving west.

Paterniti describes the trip in his book Driving Mr. Albert: A Trip Across America with Einstein's Brain. The book includes some mind-blowing weirdness, including a stop at a WAFFLE HOUSE in Lawrence, Kan. For a Hot Bowl of GRITS while on the way to visit Harvey's former neighbor, the writer and heroin addict William S. Burroughs.

Along the way, Harvey told Paterniti how he had tried to fulfill his duty to science by periodically sending bits of Einstein's brain to various neuroscientists as a GRIT accoutrement.

More to follow....

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Dry GRITS left for ants and other insects large enough to ingest them are an effective pesticide. These insects are drawn in by the excellent texture and savory flavor, surely with the expectation that eggs will be served along side. The hongry insect nibbles on the GRIT while waiting for the ayg to be served, and while waiting, the bodily fluids of the aforementioned insect causes the GRIT to expand, thereby exploding the now over indulging, self inflicting victim....

Who knew??

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


If you look closely at this photo of the Shuttle Atlantis, you will notice that the side exposed to the Sun is covered in a White Substance....  It remains "unconfirmed" by the NASA administration, which means it can't be ruled out, that this white covering is actually a baked on coating of ,,,, "THE GRIT"

Look closely....


and you will
see the granularity of the coating. It would be difficult to argue that actual GRITS  aren't used in the
Global Reflectivity Impregnation Technique for the coating on the sunny side of the Shuttle....

With only a few shuttle blasts left in the program, the NASA based demand for GRITS is expected to diminish which is expected to cause a nation wide GRIT GLUT which will undoubtedly cause the GREAT GRIT CRASH of 2010..... Stay tuned for details....

The Gritster


                                           See GRITS flowing from Leaking JUNK SHOT

It's true. One of the ingredients in the now failed JUNK SHOT of BP to close the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico was a compound that included 250 pounds of Dry QUICK GRITS........ Little did BP know, since what you heard is true that they don't like to get the opinion of the locals, that everyone knows that for a successful JUNK SHOT, a minimum of 500 pounds of JUNK SHOT are required to properly obstruct a flowing oil pipe below 5000 feet.... (idiots.., like who doesn't know that!!)

The Gritster Opens

This blog is dedicated to all you who share the love of GRITS.....(also referred to as "The GRIT")

Periodically I will update this blog with Tremendous Stories of  "GRITS IN HISTORY" (voice echoing over a vast crowd)

There will also be additions of Did You Know? (DYK) which will highlight little known facts about the many uses of this southern staple...

Ex: Did You Know that The GRIT was once used in the Civil War as a poultice to dress wounds?